first viewing.

Day 5 post-op.

I'd decided I was going to take a shower today, and consequently take a look at my breasts. I'd been nervous all day. I took the surgical bra off and starting taking off the dressing slowly. I was prepared for the worst: bruises, discoloration, inflammation, lots of blood etc. And all I saw was blood. Around the nipple and down the breast in a line from the nipple. That's normal I think, that's where the stitches are. My nipples looked a little weird, don't know if that is entirely normal. But as far as the first viewing went I did ok. I was little shaky for a few minutes but I didn't feel much. Which is ok. Maybe I'll feel something later, maybe I won't. But I am ok. And I think that's ok.

My breasts were so small. Well, much smaller than I ever remember them being. And so freaking perky. I can't remember them ever not racing their way to hang down to my stomach every time I took my bra off. They just stood there.

Bloody. Perky. Small. Nothing I didn't expect.

Can't say I'm not happy with the results. I am. They're not so small as to make me think I made a mistake. Not so big as to make me think all this didn't make a difference. Small enough to make a difference, big enough so I've still got a handful.

I'm doing ok. I feel good about it.

I wish I didn't have to be so uncomfortable. I'm so sick of lying/sitting in the same position that last 5 days. I'm going to my doctor's office tomorrow to change the dressing and whatever else they need to do. And I am looking forward to some fresh air.

I'm weening myself off of the Tylenol 3's. They definitely had me on a high these past 4 days. I babbled a lot of stuff to my mom I normally wouldn't. Mostly funny things, but private nonetheless. But things have mostly been blurry. I am so thankful for the people that came by. It was SO nice to see some lovely familiar faces.

Mostly I'm just so glad that my sister and mom were around for all of this. I don't know how I would have managed without them.

More to come after tomorrow :).